The One-on-One That Actually Works

One-on-ones aren’t status updates—they’re the heartbeat of engagement. When done well, they become a leader’s most powerful habit: a recurring space where trust, energy, and alignment come alive. When they’re rushed or routine, they fade into noise. Most leaders I coach find room to improve in this area—it’s easy to drift into updates and miss the real opportunity for connection. Think of it like flying without a plan—you might get airborne, but you won’t know where you’re headed.

1. Before the One-on-One

Make It Sacred

Protect the time. Don’t treat it as filler between tasks or a box to check. Your attention is the currency of leadership—so show up fully. A five-minute mental reset before the meeting often changes the entire tone.

Co-Create the Agenda

Invite your team member to set one or two priorities in advance. When they bring topics that matter to them, the meeting shifts from reporting to real conversation. Shared ownership builds engagement before the meeting even begins.

2. During the One-on-One

Start with Recognition

Begin by noticing what’s working. Ask, “What’s gone really well since our last check-in?” or “Where did you see your work make a difference?” Then add your own observations. Recognition doesn’t have to be grand—specific and sincere wins every time. It reminds people that their work has purpose and that you see it.

Explore Challenges

After wins, lean into what’s hard. Ask, “What’s been blocking progress?” or “Where are you stuck?” Then resist the urge to fix it. Great leaders coach by curiosity—asking questions that help others discover insight and confidence: “What do you think is the real obstacle?” “How might you approach it differently?” Empowerment starts here.

Offer Support

Once clarity surfaces, ask how you can help: “What can we simplify, delay, or remove?” or “Who could you collaborate with to move this forward?” Then follow through. Reliability, especially in small promises, builds enormous trust.

End with Energy

Close with two quick reflections: “What’s your next step?” and “What’s mine?” Clear endings create momentum—and people leave knowing where to aim next.

3. After the One-on-One

Do What You Said You’d Do

If you promised a connection, resource, or decision, make it happen. Consistent follow-up demonstrates reliability, which contributes to building credibility.

Keep the Rhythm

Frequency matters more than length. A focused 20-minute check-in every two weeks keeps connection alive and prevents small issues from becoming big ones. Over time, this rhythm builds a culture of trust and accountability that no dashboard or memo can replace.

A one-on-one done right doesn’t just exchange information—it fuels connection and growth. Show up with presence, curiosity, and consistency, and you’ll turn a routine meeting into one of your most powerful leadership tools. Start this week--one conversation at a time.